Truisms

Discovered Conceptual artist Jenny Holzer today (had she been mentioned in class?):

Experience
(Click around; she has made every visitor a creator,
every reader an author)

Read

Forking Out

Maybe it's just this 24-hour melancholia speaking, but I miss this class like a kid sent to bed before dinner misses his mashed potatoes. I think I'm holding to something that has begun to (fervently) take root in my mind, yet being forced to (and, I suppose, wanting to) move on; but I don't want to leave that root as a root, I want it to blossom into a huge tree, and I want to be that tree. But I feel a little lost in "forking out" on my own, trying to preserve and develop that perspective, that system of thought--that cognitive freshness and wonder and free-wheeling power without the guidance of this class. I feel like this is one of those classes that I could keep taking over and over and never feel a hint of stagnation. I feel that this class was one crucial pivot point/fulcrum for my development as a whole thinker, artist, student of life, if you will. I feel that this class gave me permission to be myself, in a way, and indulge patterns of thought I had once, and perhaps unknowingly, crushed. And now I feel a little lost without consistent "system rechargers."
Maybe the most important thing I learned (and saw in action) last semester, was to maintain as high a level of receptivity and inquisitiveness as I could productively sustain. This new English course I'm taking right now is great too, but much more "traditional" (and limiting? but limits aren't so bad--they let you see what's outside; limits are tethers and tethers are necessary for ascension or movement in general; as Albert Einstein remarked, "Once one knows his limits, he can go beyond it."). I guess my goal is to use this current class (and indeed all subsequent encounters in my life) as fodder for that [parasitic] seed.
I'm searching for more encounters with illumination, and this class has given me one more very powerful flashlight.

I apologize for the self-therapeutic nature of this entry. But just writing it makes my head a little clearer. I need to get formed words out before new ones can take their place. Consider this an examination of one square inch on the surface of my mind.